Step 3
8 Steps to managing negative emotions, being less “reactive” and more present!
1.) Practice awareness: We literally can change nothing in our lives if we aren’t paying attention to it. Begin to bring awareness to what you’re thinking and how you are feeling. The two are bound together. Also, be careful of what you watch and listen to. Garbage in, garbage out.
2.) Get curious about any PATTERNS in how you think & feel: This can help you identify triggers and expose areas requiring deeper work. Perhaps even areas of past trauma.
3.) Begin to be less "reactive" and interrupt the habitual: When your in the moment it can be hard to not just have “knee jerk reactions” but as you develop your awareness you will see you actually have a choice on how you react… if and only if you have created enough space for a slight pause before “blast off”.
When you do catch yourself in time, choose the opposite reaction. If you feel like crying, think of the funniest thing you can. If you feel like getting angry, recall a moment in your life where you were filled with overwhelming amounts of love (I think of the first time I held my babies, literally the world was revolving around us).
This may seem silly but, what you’re actually doing is interrupting the hard wiring and over time, you will have a new “habit or reaction” to that stressor.
4.) Practice mindfulness meditation: Scientifically proven to lower BP and combat stress. One of the ways it does this is by interrupting the negative habitual thought patterns we have and providing the space we need to see that we are not our thoughts. As Scripture reminds us “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ ''. 2 Cor. 10:5
Unlike simply “clearing the mind” this form of mindfulness trains the mind, like a muscle it can become stronger or weaker depending on training. Most people allow their minds to run free and consequently they are a victim of their own undisciplined thinking.
I like to meditate on the Word of God after my devotional time in the morning. This really helps me keep His words with me throughout the day! I will sometimes use a piece of Scripture like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Phil. 4:13 as a mantra to keep me from spiraling into useless thought. So here are some was to do your mindfulness:
a) You could sit (this doesn’t have to be all uncomfortable on a cushion btw, I personally hate that!), you could also…
b) walk or
c) lay down. However you do it…take time every day to focus on your breathing and become centered. When you do, a thought or feeling will arise. Thats ok. That is the way the brain works. Return to your focus or mantra ex.)
“I am a child of God”.
Focus on the breath; you’re not trying to stop your thoughts, you can’t! That’s the point! You’re trying to notice them. Think of this as a brain “work-out” because you are exercising your ability "to notice" and 'to choose'. There will always be endless thoughts and feelings. The goal is to not be controlled or swept away by them. This is all about the “Renewing of the mind”.
That’s it! And my friends, it does help. Like, a lot.
5.)
Be Kind: Grant yourself and others grace. We are generally doing the best we can with the resources we have at the time. New resources can always be acquired. As you work on your personal development and your “wholistic” health you will naturally develop inner peace, space and self awareness.
6.)Pray: As Scripture reminds us: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God , which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”. Phil 4:6-7
7.) Forgive others: Forgiveness is the key to peace and eliminating negativity.
**Matthew 6:14-15**: "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
**Ephesians 4:32**: "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
**Colossians 3:13**: "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
**Luke 17:3-4**: "Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him."
**Mark 11:25**: "And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."
8.) Focus on self improvement instead of attempting to change and improve others:
As Jesus reminds us:
“Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:4-5
-At the end of the day the truth is simple: We have to do the work. The only thing we have complete control over is how we perceive, react and respond to "life" happening.
Try to speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your best friend. Or your child. A little kindness never hurt anyone. Especially your inner environment.